Guest Post: I’m still black and no one can take that away from me

8123 GUEST POST

Written by our good friend and comedian, Shapel Lacey.

An introduction from Tim Kirch (8123).

After reading so many comments from our community, I reached out to my good friend and comedian, Shapel Lacey.  

Shapel shared a message on his socials that really resonated with me and I felt like it addressed so many comments that were posted on some of our social media platforms. 

It hurts me to know how so many people have felt like they didn't belong within this community. I did not know how to personally address a feeling that I could never fully understand. I wish I could be there in person to speak to anyone that has ever felt this way. I would not say anything, just give you a hug because our intentions have always been to be inclusive of all.

I know now that we must do more and it starts with sharing and discussing further. I am not naive to think that this is a problem that can be changed overnight. All we can control right now are our actions. We can control our emotions but that does not change how someone has felt for so long. I am hopeful that our internal community of 8123 can take this message and spark a change. To welcome people from all walks of life to feel loved and let them know that they belong. 

Music has and will continue to be the driving factor of 8123 but moving forward, we must acknowledge that this platform can and will go beyond music.  

With that said, I want to turn over the blog and share Shapel's message. I hope some of you can see your own story in this or see how someone next to you at a show might feel. This is a time for a change and even if that change is in a music venue, at one of our shows, or online. We all must do our part.

 I’m still black and no one can take that away from me

Normally I would feel so lost and confused as to where I stand with what’s going on right now. I think back to that long period of time where I was confused with my own identity on a racial level. From the first time I picked up a skateboard, grabbed a guitar, and put on a Black Flag record I didn’t know that me jumping into this world would put on mental struggle on me. Even today at 33 years old people have tried to rule me out as being black. When I was younger I accepted this because not only was I hearing this at school but I would also hear it at home mainly from my stepfather and other relatives. With accepting these words that people delivered to me it made me act out in ways that were so disrespectful to myself as well as many others. All because I was walking through life letting everyone define me. At the end of the day, I never felt right about myself and I always felt confused. I remember there were times I used to just stare in the mirror looking at myself and no matter how long I stared what I saw was a black man but didn’t think it was true because everyone’s words about me just kept playing back and forth in my head. I held myself back on gaining knowledge of where I come from because I didn’t feel like I was allowed to have any connection to it. I didn’t even feel fully comfortable being around other black people or anyone else for that matter. I felt like this lone wolf because everyone had something to say about who I was. At 29 years old I took a big leap and decided that I wanted to reach out and try to have a relationship with my biological father. Something in my gut just told me I needed to reach out. Me taking this big leap helped me in ways that I never really thought could happen. All of a sudden I started to get a solid sense of myself and I wanted to learn more. I started to learn about the history of where my family and I come from. I found out my grandfather was a guitar player too and I went crazy with excitement! I started to feel a connection with something that I never felt before. That emptiness was filling up! Through connecting with my father I’ve fully found the confidence in being the person that I am is okay. I can listen to whatever music I want, I can play my guitar with heavy distortion, and I can blast that Black Flag record. I’m still black and no one can take that away from me. So many of us are confused with all that’s going on, some think they have it figured out, and some just want to run away from it. Take that leap like I did into a world you have never fully known and gain that knowledge. Stay curious about wanting to learn more don’t cap yourself off with thinking you know. With the knowledge I’ve gained and continue to do so it has helped me be vulnerable enough to let out a story about me that I haven’t always been comfortable with speaking on. Don’t be scared to have dialog and dig deep for the knowledge you’ll start to realize that learning is endless. Y’all stay safe out there.

Shapel Lacey (Stand up at The Laugh Factory in Hollywood)